*** WARNING: VENTING ALERT!!! ***
"Send away for a priceless gift One not subtle, one not on the list Send away for a perfect world One not simply, so absurd In these times of doing what you're told You keep these feelings, no one knows What ever happened to the young man's heart Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, Swimming through the ashes of another life No real reason to accept the way things have changed Staring down the barrel of a 45 Send a message to the unborn child Keep your eyes open for a while In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else There's a piece of a puzzle known as life Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight What ever happened to the young man's heart Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, Swimming through the ashes of another life No real reason to accept the way things have changed Staring down the barrel of a 45 Everyone's pointing their fingers Always condemning me And nobody knows what I believe I believe And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life No real reason to accept the way things have changed Staring down the barrel of a 45 And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life There is no real reason to accept the way things have changed Staring down the barrel of a 45, 45 Staring down the barrel of a 45." Shinedown- .45
Why the lyrics you may ask, well I like this song because it expresses how I feel. I'm not depressed yet still kinda down. Unfortunately we only get one turn at life, no do overs, no "backsies". For me, self reflection happens when I want to lay down. Also the reason why I don't sleep enough, some nights I don't sleep at all. It's easy to say "I'm gonna change that right away", but the truth is if I start changing in the next year then I'm on the right path. I have a huge laundry list of regrets and I guess I have to live with that. Most I can NEVER share with anyone. 45 isn't a sad song that sings about suicide or abortion. For me it says life is incredibly difficult but you are not alone, I'm there going through it as well. I guess I still hold those traditional adolescent issues, I feel alone and know one understands me. My dad once told me his fear is dying alone. My fear, aside from death is being alone. I need some sort of companionship. That's why I am so close to my son. He is the friend I need. It may sound like I am going to close this blog out on a sad note, but I'm not. I'm not down, I aware of what life is. I see it's hardships and challenges and I look forward to the rewards and great times ahead. It's time to quit bitching, strap on a helmet and move forward. When life hits you, you hit harder. And all those be positive type cliches. I'm gonna make it happen Cap'n!
"Send away for a priceless gift One not subtle, one not on the list Send away for a perfect world One not simply, so absurd In these times of doing what you're told You keep these feelings, no one knows What ever happened to the young man's heart Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, Swimming through the ashes of another life No real reason to accept the way things have changed Staring down the barrel of a 45 Send a message to the unborn child Keep your eyes open for a while In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else There's a piece of a puzzle known as life Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight What ever happened to the young man's heart Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, Swimming through the ashes of another life No real reason to accept the way things have changed Staring down the barrel of a 45 Everyone's pointing their fingers Always condemning me And nobody knows what I believe I believe And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life No real reason to accept the way things have changed Staring down the barrel of a 45 And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life There is no real reason to accept the way things have changed Staring down the barrel of a 45, 45 Staring down the barrel of a 45." Shinedown- .45
Why the lyrics you may ask, well I like this song because it expresses how I feel. I'm not depressed yet still kinda down. Unfortunately we only get one turn at life, no do overs, no "backsies". For me, self reflection happens when I want to lay down. Also the reason why I don't sleep enough, some nights I don't sleep at all. It's easy to say "I'm gonna change that right away", but the truth is if I start changing in the next year then I'm on the right path. I have a huge laundry list of regrets and I guess I have to live with that. Most I can NEVER share with anyone. 45 isn't a sad song that sings about suicide or abortion. For me it says life is incredibly difficult but you are not alone, I'm there going through it as well. I guess I still hold those traditional adolescent issues, I feel alone and know one understands me. My dad once told me his fear is dying alone. My fear, aside from death is being alone. I need some sort of companionship. That's why I am so close to my son. He is the friend I need. It may sound like I am going to close this blog out on a sad note, but I'm not. I'm not down, I aware of what life is. I see it's hardships and challenges and I look forward to the rewards and great times ahead. It's time to quit bitching, strap on a helmet and move forward. When life hits you, you hit harder. And all those be positive type cliches. I'm gonna make it happen Cap'n!
