Wanted: One manual for slightly used brain.

I need a cool opening for my blogs, hmm.... Welcome true believers- wait that's taken. Oh well I will try this another time. As a child your parents, teachers, family members and so on, start to instill in us that we can do anything and we are all smart. We are told to achieve more and strive for greatness. Reach for the stars! Well I don't know about you guys but this happened to me so bare with me, I have a point. About the time I hit my teens people who once told me I was so smart started to say different things like"Don't be smart with me stupid" and "If your so smart why are acting so dumb?" Now I'm being told "So you got a 100%, what do you want from me?", "You ain't nothing special", and things like that. Praise has now turned to negative criticisms. With all this new found negativity I like most kids in their teens ignored it and block it out with rebellion. Around the time I turned 15 my home life started to crumble, My dad became addicted to drugs and then deathly ill. My step mom fell under pressure and secretly started using drugs as well. I cut class to work in a supermarket packing bags just to make a couple bucks to buy food for my family. After some time my father regained his strength and I returned to class. Because of my time out I fell behind and my grades dropped. I started getting the "You showed so much potential. What happened?" speech from my teachers. All that negativity started to get through my "whatever" shield. I became frustrated and started cutting class with my friends.

I Love my friends!

The rest is history and I hope to turn my history into a book one day. Anyway, many years have past and while doing personal exploration (Soul searching. You guys are DIRTY MINDED!) I realized i still feel like "I ain't nothing special", and all that negative crap stood with me. I think it is a major reason why I am the way i am health wise and professionally. So here I am now trying to reprogram my mind. Trying to get rid of all that negative brainwashing. Damn i wish God gave us a manual with this thing we call a body. This isn't a cry for help or me getting down on myself. It's me trying to understand me. Now I see this and I now I can try to fix it. I'm gonna end this thing with a video my best friend made me. It makes me smile every time.


Yes he misspelled my name!

FML.....Feed Me Lunch

I know I haven't written anything in a long while. Well it's because quite frankly
I wanted to quit. Don't freak I didn't mean on life anything crazy like that. Let me explain, in the beginning of the month I finally spoke to my investigator for school safety and it turns out that because of mistakes made myself and School Safety, I will not be joining the class. I also missed an exam because my mailbox was broken. So I pretty much got screwed by the universe. Well I know everything happens for a reason, but with all this happening I fell into a funk. To add to my funkiness I haven't been focused on dropping weight and I have noticed I am falling back into my old eating habits. I'm afraid I might even have put on a few more pounds. So what am I going to do about you ask? Well I'm going to get all my papers in order for School Safety, I need that job more than you can imagine. I am now looking up some major diet ideas and I will hit that gym hard. My life isn't gonna get better by just sitting on my butt. I have to push my self. I have to make major moves. My son is my inspiration, he has grown so much in the past year. My son is beginning to read and he is just showing new things everyday. He isn't a baby anymore. So now I have a plan now to put it in action.