Wanted: One manual for slightly used brain.

I need a cool opening for my blogs, hmm.... Welcome true believers- wait that's taken. Oh well I will try this another time. As a child your parents, teachers, family members and so on, start to instill in us that we can do anything and we are all smart. We are told to achieve more and strive for greatness. Reach for the stars! Well I don't know about you guys but this happened to me so bare with me, I have a point. About the time I hit my teens people who once told me I was so smart started to say different things like"Don't be smart with me stupid" and "If your so smart why are acting so dumb?" Now I'm being told "So you got a 100%, what do you want from me?", "You ain't nothing special", and things like that. Praise has now turned to negative criticisms. With all this new found negativity I like most kids in their teens ignored it and block it out with rebellion. Around the time I turned 15 my home life started to crumble, My dad became addicted to drugs and then deathly ill. My step mom fell under pressure and secretly started using drugs as well. I cut class to work in a supermarket packing bags just to make a couple bucks to buy food for my family. After some time my father regained his strength and I returned to class. Because of my time out I fell behind and my grades dropped. I started getting the "You showed so much potential. What happened?" speech from my teachers. All that negativity started to get through my "whatever" shield. I became frustrated and started cutting class with my friends.

I Love my friends!

The rest is history and I hope to turn my history into a book one day. Anyway, many years have past and while doing personal exploration (Soul searching. You guys are DIRTY MINDED!) I realized i still feel like "I ain't nothing special", and all that negative crap stood with me. I think it is a major reason why I am the way i am health wise and professionally. So here I am now trying to reprogram my mind. Trying to get rid of all that negative brainwashing. Damn i wish God gave us a manual with this thing we call a body. This isn't a cry for help or me getting down on myself. It's me trying to understand me. Now I see this and I now I can try to fix it. I'm gonna end this thing with a video my best friend made me. It makes me smile every time.


Yes he misspelled my name!